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As I am passionate about and find great joy in helping others, I have been considered the ‘go-to’ person by my family, friends and colleagues alike. When I reflect on this, I feel I have handled this role responsibly. I also have the ability to connect with people at a deeper level when holding conversations with them. A Chartered Accountant by profession, I left my corporate job over 15 years ago as I did not find it satisfying in terms of work-life balance. I was also seeking to experience a greater purpose and meaning in my life through my work, which my job, it’s content and format being such, was not offering to me. I knew that what I was seeking shall come to me in due course. Now, I am at a phase in my life where flexible working hours, freedom to organize my work schedule around my other responsibilities from the comfort of my home is important to me. I have embarked upon the journey to undergo training to become a coach as it aligns me with my values and provides me flexibility around my work regime. In the three months since I began my training, I have learnt that the partnership between the coach and client is built on utmost trust, ethical conduct and adherence to confidentiality, on the part of the coach. Coaching conversations help in development of some key life skills such as; the ability to listen deeply with an open, client-centric and curious mind which helps in asking powerful questions. This helps in understanding the client’s problem in all its dimensions and brings the gift of one’s whole personality in making an authentic conversation. This also helps in getting rid of one’s insecurities and becoming more receptive which helps in building mutual trust and respect which is the cornerstone of a coach-client relationship. I have started applying these learnings in conversations with my peers which has helped them in understanding and resolving some of the issues they had been struggling with. When having conversations with my family, I have become a better listener and am much less prescriptive which helps them find their own solutions. This coaching journey has sparked a curiosity in me, hence I have started reading books on coaching and related topics.  Since I was coming back into a formal learning environment after a long time, I was apprehensive about my ability to adapt to it, but, with tremendous support from my mentor and great camaraderie and warmth from my co-learners, these concerns were put to rest in no time. My co-learners were from diverse backgrounds and different age groups which provided an enriching experience inside the classroom in terms of motivation levels, points of view, intense discussions and the presentations that each one of us had to give. My presentation on ‘Embodies A Coaching Mindset’ was the high point for me in terms of effort, learning and the positive reception it got. The training session of 3 months has taken my energy levels to a new high and I have upgraded myself to the PCC course with Coacharya. I am determined to become a professional coach and grow intellectually, spiritually and materially. Upgrading to the PCC course has led to tremendous learning in terms of my coaching approach and style. In my earlier coaching sessions, I was helping the clients explore the situation they were struggling with but now I focus on the individual (The Who) and not on the situation. This has taken my coaching journey to a whole new level. During the course of training, I have been coached by my peers and mentor quite a few times. This has given me a chance for self-exploration and to travel within myself, to discover and use resources, I may never have known I had. This has opened up new inspiring opportunities and has helped me become a better version of myself. My Coaching Journey is helping me become much more comfortable with silence, develop better self-awareness, build trust and stay focussed. As a result, I am able to have much more real and authentic conversations and thus address issues holistically. I am endeavouring to become better at the core attributes of coaching in terms of being more receptive to the perspectives of others, tolerant, empathetic and in adopting an attitude for learning. This is improving my interactions with people and will help build my business relationships in future. There is a paradigm shift in the way I help and support people now; instead of prescribing solutions to their problems, I am now partnering with them to help them develop insights to act upon. This change in my outlook is here to stay for good! The world of coaching is an amazing one and I am enjoying every moment of it.  

Entrepreneurs have diverse motivations and beliefs. However, it is fair to attribute some key characteristics to those who succeed. As Jeff Bezos said when he was asked to give advice to those starting their own businesses- “Take risk. You have to be willing to take risk. If you have a business idea with no risk, it's probably already being done," he said. "You've got to have something that might not work. It will be, in many ways, an experiment. Many of those experiments will fail, but "big failures" are a necessary part of the journey toward success”.  Entrepreneurs are passionate, almost obsessive about their ideas. They drive themselves and their teams hard. Their vision for the company takes precedence over everything else. As the organization grows, and success beckons, the entrepreneur becomes a larger than life figure. His creativity, energy and sense of urgency propels the organization forward. Paradoxically, just as the organization tastes success and grows in size, the erstwhile strengths of the entrepreneur may come in the way of scaling up the organization and sustaining its success.  The obsessive ownership levels of the entrepreneur may lead him to micromanage his team. His impatience and desire for fast results may show up as a top- down authoritarian streak. The success of the organization may go to his head. In case of more than one cofounder, there may be conflicts between them. The entrepreneur may become less communicative, less willing to listen, more egotistical and may not have time for others. As he is called on to do more things and his bandwidth starts to choke, his stress levels go up. The rest of the team may find it very hard to understand or identify with the vision, or to state their viewpoint honestly. Just as the entrepreneur becomes more busy and more convinced about the organization’s destiny, his team may find him to be the biggest bottleneck!  The entrepreneur may sense the disconnect with the team- and that may make it harder for him to trust or delegate! As things start to unravel, the entrepreneur may realize the need to reinvent himself, but may not know how! There are several instances of entrepreneurs throwing in the towel. No wonder over 90% of start-ups fail within 5 years!  Organizational Building and scaling up, requires a culture where ideas come from everywhere and decisions are made at various levels- and not only by one person.  The organization needs to give everyone more autonomy and demand more accountability. The entrepreneur has to become more aware and let go.  As the expectations from the entrepreneur change, he struggles to cope up. Coaching can be very helpful at this stage.  A coach can assist the entrepreneur in unravelling what truly matters to him; what his priorities are; what options are available to him and what the trade -offs are. Through candid conversations involving , active listening, powerful questioning and direct communication, the coach establishes trust and intimacy and a safe environment for the entrepreneur to face his dilemmas and fears, understand the situation better, get new awareness and design actions to resolve issues.  Some of the Key questions are  

· What do you want? (Vision) 

· What do you have to do? (Action)  

· What could get in the way? (Anticipate)  

· How do you hold yourself accountable? (Measure) 

 Coaching is non-judgemental and non-prescriptive- and the coach simply helps the coachee to ‘see things’ in a new way, without losing their self-esteem. This helps the coachee design new actions for himself to get the results that he wants. This ensures full ownership and accountability. The coach walks along with him, stays curious and helps the coachee in the journey.  Bill Campbell the legendary coach of Google’s Executive Team coached the founders –Sergei Brin and Larry Page and then the CEO Eric Schmidt and other leaders. His candid conversations, where he always put the larger purpose of the organization, ahead of individual issues helped Google ensure that the team remained intact. In 2004, during the Google IPO, the board wanted Eric Schmidt to step aside as Chairman, while remaining CEO. Schmidt thought that was unjustified and his first reaction was to offer to quit. Campbell understood that Eric was hurt but made him see the importance of staying back for Google’s larger purpose. He also seeded the thought that he could always get back the Chairman position in sometime.  Bill’s influence in nurturing the Google management team during the company’s formative years was significant and it continued until he passed away.  In India, the Infosys Co-founders coached each other to clarify business priorities, reset goals resolve interpersonal issues, and plan for succession. Coaching  conversations helped in ensuring that all the founders played a role in steering the company and in establishing a culture built on the enduring values of the founders.

In the initial days of my coach training, we were taught the pre-2019 ICF Core Competencies. These focussed on the ‘What’ of the coaching and the DOING of the coach in that process. The focus on the WHO of the coach left much to be desired. Midway into my training, we were introduced to the updated ICF Core Competency Model wherein the first domain titled ‘Foundation’ focussed on the coaches and how they should conduct themselves not only while coaching but in all professional interactions with parties related to the coaching process. Coaching Mindset forms part of this Foundational cluster. As our training progressed, I learnt that good coaching is not only about demonstrating a skill-set, but it is also about demonstrating a particular mindset consistently and sincerely. What could that mindset be, generated a curiosity in me. The reading of the definition and the eight sub-competencies opened up new vistas in my understanding of the BEING of the coach. I became eager to learn about this competency and watched videos, read blogs and attended webinars on the subject. I grabbed the opportunity to make a presentation on this competency to my cohort. I did some extensive research for my presentation. In the process, I learnt that the coach is his or her best tool in coaching and that we need to keep that tool sharp at all times. To this end, I started participating in supervision sessions on a weekly basis with my peers and mentor and this hugely helped me understand the nuances of coaching and mentoring. I learnt that the mindset of a coach should be client-centric which is based on the three core-competencies of Empathy, Congruence and unconditional positive regard. I went over the presentations of a few coaches to understand the definition of a coach’s mindset (which is open, curious, flexible and client-centered) and how these attributes enable the coach in facilitating the client’s journey from the present state to the desired future state. It also helped me understand how the DOING of the coach emanates from the BEING of the coach which helps the coach deliver the best possible value for each client. The understanding of this definition not only helped me in my coaching sessions but also in interactions outside of these sessions with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. I have become aware of the virtues of being non-judgemental, tolerant and receptive to the ideas, arguments and perceptions of others. I have begun seeking new information and experiences with an open mind. I have become better in my abilities to overcome challenges and embrace change and in approaching life with a growth mindset from which the coaching mindset draws its core. My learnings from the sub-competency which talks about engaging in ongoing learning and Development, has come in handy in the current Covid times. As we are experiencing a new normal right now in terms of social distancing, staying confined in our homes, participating in fewer activities, we have more time in our hands. I am putting this time to good use by learning meditation, practicing coaching sessions on zoom, reflecting and writing down my coaching journey, listening to client recordings, peer group reflections, engaging in creative and thought-provoking conversations with my family. I have also become aware of the need to develop and maintain the ability to regulate my emotions which would also help me mentally and emotionally prepare for my coaching sessions. I do my pre-session preparation either by meditating or sitting quietly or by taking a power nap. I prefer not to do more than 2 sessions in a day. I have opted to have sessions in the evening as it is the best time of the day when I can feel fresh and be present for my client.  I feel that I have to work hard in understanding the contextual and cultural awareness of clients in my coaching sessions. This is an area for improvement which would become better if I go deeper into my reflective practice. I know that the showing up of this coaching mindset would take place over the course of my professional journey as a coach as it cannot be captured at one point in time. My coaching journey thus far has been truly transformational personally. 

During one of our training sessions, our mentor coach introduced us to the use of metaphors in coaching. In the class, each one of us was asked to think of a metaphor we could identify ourselves with. We then worked with the metaphors to explore into our worlds deeply which helped create new insights and opened the doors to new perceptions. It was fascinating to learn how our choice of words influences the way we see, experience and describe the world and ourselves. The session left me curious to learn more about the usage of metaphors and the ways to incorporate it in my coaching style. I did extensive research by reading articles and blogs, watching demonstration videos of coaching sessions on the internet and learnt that usage of metaphors  empowers the clients to unlock new experiences and develop greater awareness of themselves and their situation. This knowledge opened up a whole new world of exploring the WHO of the client. From that time on, I decided to use this powerful tool of Metaphors in my coaching sessions. I share my experience of one such session wherein I was able to identify, unravel and leverage my client’s metaphor to support her learning of self and her situation in a better way. I did some rigorous reflection on how to prepare myself to administer the use of metaphors in my coaching session. I came to the understanding that a calm and focussed mind will help me listen actively and ask clean language questions to explore deeply into my client’s world. Hence, I did meditation before the session. This helped me demonstrate a high level of attentiveness and responsiveness to the client in the session. My client had used the word ‘Gardener”to describe herself. I explored the situation that the client was grappling with via her metaphor by bringing in references of flowers, weeds, and other plants in the conversation. It helped build trust and safety between us as we were communicating in an accessible and aligned way. Through her metaphor, I could help my client describe everything that she was seeing, feeling and imagining. As I reflect back on this particular session, I feel that I was able to enter my client’s inner world through her metaphor and helped her explore her issues and reach solutions from a deeper source of knowledge. I was able to converse within the framework of the metaphor and helped bring a shift in her thinking which led to some transformational changes which moved her from the current state to the future desired state. I vividly remember being totally client focussed, asking open ended, clear and concise questions around the framework of her metaphor mostly.  This helped the client express something abstract in more concrete terms, highlight the importance of her situation and use imagery to describe her feelings and her internal emotional state.  Towards the end of the session, my client thanked me for remembering her metaphor and for asking some thought provoking questions which gave her a lot of clarity. She mentioned that she was feeling highly motivated towards the outcome because she had found a way forward. I too felt that I had conducted a beautiful session evidencing growth in my competencies as a coach especially around the WHO of the client.  Usage of the client’s metaphor supported the client to externalize and express her thinking and feeling more vividly. I have learnt that working with the metaphors can be incredibly powerful when addressing deeply entrenched issues which a client has felt stuck with for a long time. I have applied this tool in a few coaching sessions thereafter and experienced a visibly positive shift in my coaching style. 

As part of our Coach training program, we learnt about the ICF Core Competency model that reflects the key elements of coaching practice. One such element is Active listening. While I immersed myself in understanding the other elements under this model, I paid no heed to ‘Active Listening’, happily assuming that effective listening was deeply ingrained in my being. However, I was in for a surprise. It took me no more than two practice coaching sessions to realize that I had been taking my listening skills for granted all this while. In fact, I was not an effective listener. It became clear to me that I was often assuming that I was practicing active listening in all my conversations and that the others knew that they were being heard. My first coaching session was a real eye-opener. I realized that I was zoning out during the course of the session, stressing hard to remember what my client was stating, itching to ask my next question lest I forget the context, and being judgemental about my client’s situation at times. I also had to fight hard to stop myself from prescribing solutions, as being prescriptive comes naturally to me. This new awareness about my listening skills or rather the lack of it, set me on the path to learn about the art of active listening. I used all possible resources on the internet, to the hilt, for my learning. After every coaching and non-coaching conversation, I decided to evaluate myself along these parameters:  -If I was having a hard time concentrating on what was being discussed in the conversation.  - If I was thinking about what to say next instead of focussing on what the speaker is saying.  - If I was talking significantly more than the other person.  - If I was disliking it when someone questioned my ideas or action.  - If I was prescribing solutions even before fully understanding the problem.  - If I was sympathising with people instead of empathising.  I was not surprised to find the answers to most of these parameters in the affirmative. Some more research provided me a direction to hone my skills that could help me become a better listener than what I was. Reading about the six skills: paying attention, withholding judgement, reflecting, clarifying, summarizing and sharing, was a step in the right direction. I also requested my mentor, peers, family and friends to give me feedback on my listening skills basis the conversations I have with them. This has helped me realize that one of the goals of active listening is to set a comfortable tone that gives the speaker an opportunity to think and speak. Also, allowing ‘wait time’ before responding helps speakers to finish their sentences. I have also started paying attention to my frame of mind and the coachees’ body language during the session. I am a person who holds strong views hence finds it hard at times to suspend judgements during conversations. As I have become aware of the fact that active listening requires an open mind, hence, I have started holding non-coaching conversations by listening in to new ideas and new perspectives without being judgemental and argumentative. I feel a sense of calm and positivity post these conversations. I have learnt that reflecting is an active listening technique that ensures that the coach and client are on the same page. I feel that I am gradually becoming better at mirroring my client’s information and emotions by paraphrasing the key points a few times during the session. In my first few peer coaching sessions, I distinctly remember feeling awkward in asking questions about any issue that was unclear and ambiguous to me. But as I make strides towards learning to become an effective listener, I’ve started asking open-ended, clarifying and probing questions that help the client in self-reflection and problem solving. In my last few sessions, I summarized the key themes of the session and asked the coachee to also do the same. This served as a useful check that we had heard and understood each other correctly. Sharing a metaphor with the coachee that was triggered by a comment made in an earlier session helped me facilitate client insight, learning and action planning. Also, responding with affirmations is one of the verbal listening techniques which I’ve started applying in my sessions lately. It bolsters the self esteem of my clients and keeps them in a positive frame of mind. During the course of my research, I found references to the ‘Conscious Competence Model’ by A Maslow. It is a good model to reflect upon during a coaching journey. I plan to study it in greater detail.   Active Listening is the base function a coach should be offering to his clients. Though I am gradually making headway in this core competency, I feel that I still have a lot to learn when it comes to effective listening. The learning continues…